The Memo Spot

Inspirational words have found their way into prose, poetry, song and essay. Never before has the memo been given its proper place among the powerful tools of language...until now.

Name:
Location: New York, New York, Timor-Leste

Friday, March 31, 2006

Flipping and other such acrobatics detrimental to longevity of ’06 House run

Memo

TO: Rep Tom DeLay (TX-22)
FROM: dcc
RE: Flipping and other such acrobatics detrimental to longevity of ’06 House run

Tom-

You staff has taken up a very dangerous sport in the mist of an election year: gymnastics. Your aid is now on the record for “flipping” and other such acrobatics. I would suggest that you put an end to these gymnastics before you or your staff get hit with a hamstring pull or another debilitating injury.

Tony Rudy, one of your closest aides, has received tons of press for his fantastic new gymnastic prowess.

For your own good, please look into stopping this practices of flipping.

-dcc


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Thursday, March 30, 2006

Self-defense, Tai Chi and other Classes to be offered by Rep Cynthia McKinney (D-GA)

Memo

TO: 109th Congress
FROM: dcc
RE: Self-defense, Tai Chi and other Classes to be offered by Rep Cynthia McKinney (D-GA)

Rep McKinney of Georgia will be offering a curriculum of physical educational classes in her office near the New Jersey and C Street entrance to the Longworth House Office Building.

Rep McKinney's office released a statement in which she explains “"that Capitol Hill Police are securing our safety, and I appreciate the work that they do.” The statement goes on to say that she is happy to help with her expert level of hand-to-hand combat skills.

These classes will be open to all Members and Staff. Capital Police are also invited to take part either by choice or by force when they choose not to recognize African-American Congress Members.

-dcc


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Welcome home

Memo

TO: Jill Carroll
FROM: dcc
RE: Welcome home

JC-

Well done and welcome back! Looking forward to the story and book deal.

With this in mind, the Memo Spot would like to offer you a three-memo deal on a freelance basis. If you are interested please contact us at MemoSpot@gmail.com

All rights will be yours and the Memo Spot will treat you even better than the Christian Science Monitor.

Welcome home!

-dcc


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Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Changing the Face of the United Nations

Memo

TO: Ambassador John Bolton
FROM: dcc
RE: Changing the Face of the United Nations
CC: NATO, EU

JB-

Congratulations on the Iran resolution. As you know you came to the UN to change the way that institution does business. You must be very pleased with the fact you have done just that with this extremely strong resolution calling for the UN IAEA to report back to you about the situation in Iran. That is the type of action that you were talking about when you called for action: a report from a UN affiliate group. Well done.

Please advise all recipients of this memo to more actions with IAEA, Oil For Food Program and other institutional changes you are fixing.

-dcc



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Abramoff and Hats


Memo

TO: Caps and Hats Everywhere of America and Turkey
FROM: dcc
RE: Abramoff and Hats

Jack Abramoff has been sentieced to six years in federal prison today and he wore a baseball cap out of the proceedings. During previous events Abramoff has been known to wear a black fedora. Every this man is in public, hundreds of thousands of pictures are taken of the man.


CHEAT has the perfect opportunity to make money off of Abramoff. This man is an equal opportunity hat and cap wearing individual. He will be in the public eye for at least two or three more months. Considering a CHEAT sponsorship of Abramoff may be a positive way to get your message to the American people. While it might be hard to reach your Turkish audience, Abramoff is known for reaching all kinds of disenfranchised groups and individuals.

This is a huge opportunity. Do not miss it!

-dcc


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PR, iPod and Votes

Memo

TO: Congressman Edward J. Markey
FROM: dcc
RE: PR, iPod and Votes

Ed-

As you know, the iPod is the most popular piece of personal technology available. By capitalizing on its flaws you placed yourself in the spot light. While you have increased you donor base to those at the National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders, you have destroyed all possibility of the youth vote. You do utilize a blog on you website, so you are reaching the younger voter through other popular technology. I would sugguest considering Pod Casts in muted tones.

-dcc

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Fairness and Truthiness

Memo

TO: Steven Colbert
FROM: dcc
RE: Fairness and Truthiness

SC:

Well done with Brown. The way in which you engaged him in questioning and not backing down will lead to the real truthiness behind the human side of the destruction; the lack of action by all levels of government. However the real fairness aspect of the Truthiness of your show would have been better served if you made Mr. Brown take pants down.

As fairness goes sir, when making a person remove his pants for you should first offer him a new wardrobe to talk about on email or at least a drink. While it may be true that the inept Administration did find a perfect scapegoat in this man, you did a very well in holding him and the rest of the Administration responsible for their heckuva job in dropping ball.

Thank you for serving your country better than any other American.

-dcc


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Monday, March 27, 2006

Senate Judiciary is Weak

Memo

TO: House Republicans
FROM: dcc
RE: Senate Judiciary is Weak

Rep Reps:

You were strong by in stating all immigrants must be strung up by their thumbs. Your law also will kill – by electrocution- anyone who will help these immigrants who will be strung up by their thumbs. Well done. Congressman Tom Tancredo should be given the American Hero Award for Real Americans saving America for Americans. This fine American has stated that illegal immigrants are “a scourge that threatens the very future of our nation.” As our fore fathers said: Illegal Immigration to this country will defame our history from today back to the Pilgrims.

However even with Congressman Tancredo’s American Hero Award for Real Americans saving America for Americans, the Senate Judiciary bowed to the pressure of the ever-powerful illegal immigrant lobby. In a new study released by Harvard, it is clear that the immigrant lobby is responsible for this new version of the weaker and un-American immigration reform.

I am very worried about this weakness. Please tell your comrades in the Senate to get in line to protect America. Thank you for being true Americans. One day you too might win an American Hero Award for Real Americans saving America for Americans.

-dcc


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Sunday, March 26, 2006

Finally Found Weapons of Mass Destruction

Memo

TO: Bush Administration
FROM: dcc
RE: Finally Found Weapons of Mass Destruction

Finally we have found evidence of the WMD! Camels, truly disgusting animals, are now to be at the center of the investigation. Millions of pounds of camels are now under careful scrutiny of the military. The camels, the real reasons for war, can be seen at the Abu Gharib Zoo.

Some of the most dangerous Camels of Mass Destruction (CMD) have been disassembled by the US Military Veterinary Corps. CMDs finally have made it work! Congratulations to the justification of the war that is killing thousands of American and Coalition soldiers, hundreds of thousands Iraqis, destabilizing of the Middle East and costing upwards of billions of dollars to for the United States.

-dcc



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Cultural Awareness Award

Memo

TO: FX Television Network
FROM: dcc
RE: Cultural Awareness Award
CC: Media Action Netword for Asian Americans

FX:

This memo is to serve as a notice of the Cultural Awareness Award. On Sunday March 19, 2006, you scheduled back to back a voice of edition of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Bulletproof Monk.

This deep cultural understanding of the Far East has earned you the first ever MemoSpot Cultural Awareness Award. Congratulations.

-dcc


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Friday, March 24, 2006

Terrorism in Pakistan

Memo

TO: Jews and Hindus
FROM: dcc
RE: Terrorism in Pakistan


Jews and Hindus:

Let this memo serve as a cease and desist notice. You are responsible for the “foreign terrorist” activities. As you know the Islamisist terrorism is clearly the fault of those targeted by the Islamisist terrorism.

The Pakistani military, allies in the War on Terrorism, have finally illuminated the facts for all to learn. Jews and Hindus you should be ashamed of yourselves for helping the “foreign terrorist” activities in a country you in which you cannot set foot.

Platitudes and pleasantries aside: stop your reign of terror!

-dcc



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Job Offer without Editorial Review

Memo

TO: Ben Domenech
FROM: dcc
RE: Job Offer without Editorial Review

Ben-

The liberally (herein ‘they’ or ‘them’) controlled media has asked not to make things up and to actually create original statements. They also want you to cite sources when making statements. This is truly a step towards them controlling more than just the media. Your blog was just fine by me.

In that vein I am going to take (without asking) from RedState.com. This post on RedState.com has welcomed you back to write and plagiarize on that site. RedState.com, like the WashingtonPost.com is a website that should read as a source of true journalism.

Redstate Reaction to Ben's Resignation
By: Clayton · Section: Miscellania

The server logs tell us that many of you are coming here looking for the Redstate reaction to Ben's resignation from the Washington Post. And no doubt you want to know what his status with Redstate is, and 'where we go' from here.

The left has their blood today. Ben resigned from the WashingtonPost.com. He did not resign from RedState - and even if he tried to do so, we would have refused to accept it. The four Directors of this site, including Ben, had a call earlier today shortly after he spoke with the Post and we're happy that Ben's staying right here.

We are disappointed in the turn of events, yes. We are also disappointed in some of our allies in their rush to judgement. But, alas, we live and die by the speed of the Internet. As I said yesterday, the conservative movement is larger than me, you, Ben, Redstate, or any individual or group.


Regardless of the offer to work at home please consider working for the Memo Spot. Send your resume or another person’s resume to MemoSpot@gmail.com

While many feel this is the start of a new look at blogging not as journalism but as partisan finger pointing. Ben we know as young people in this new media, that online finger pointing of the traditional media and the new media is nothing new. We know that blogging is cheap. Therefore blogging not as controlled as the other media by traditional funding and because the Bush Administration has not destroyed all of the pesky First Amendment. The established media will ask people sitting in their Pajamas to follow rules that “they” only do tacitly.

Please consider fabricating and forming unfounded opinions for the Memo Spot.


-dcc

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Thursday, March 23, 2006

Captors Responsible for Your Freedom

Memo

TO: Norman Kember, James Loney, and Harmeet Singh Sooden, Three Freed Christian Peacemakers Teams Activists
FROM: dcc
RE: Captors Responsible for Your Freedom

Peace Activists:

You were kidnapped in November. Your organization has been on the record stating that your kidnapping was due to the “illegal US occupation of Iraq” and have little to nothing to do with you being nabbed by masked militants in a country you came to stand in the middle of a war zone.

The misguided war is truly helped by the fact that believers of peace take risks to bring tidings of peace to Baghdad while not thanking those who taken them out of the hands of people threatening to kill said believers. There is nothing better than finding advocates for peace in the middle of a war zone as apposed to working for change in the halls of power. Selfless or ish risk taking will bring about the change you so desire.

Congratulations on your release.

-dcc



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Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Brilliance of Targetted Faith Based Grants – The Next Step

Memo

TO: H. James Towey; Director of White House Office of Faith Based and Community Initiatives
FROM: dcc
RE: Brilliance of Targetted Faith Based Grants – The Next Step

H-

The time has come to take the next step. The Bush administration has done a fantastic job insuring the next zealot will have a paved road to the White House. The real brilliance found in this plan is that only right wing religious groups apply for federal funding. Liberal religious groups stand against the involvement of government in religion and therefore are apposed to even applying for such grants. Hence you never need lie to the press and the line “we give grants to the best application” is true. I applauded these efforts.

The most amazing aspect of this political funding coup is that you are even giving this money to minorities. Your “color blind” construction of funding to evangelical Protestants pure and unadulterated PR gold that hides perfectly the fact that some of the largest “non-political” grants are being awarded to conservative organizations in Presidential battle ground states.

However the final step will be to bring all of these faith groups together on the Fourth of July to use the paper on display at the archives as the fuel to shoot off the fireworks for Washington, DC.

Please consider this option. Then you will no longer have to include “Community” in your title as an attempt to show your even handed distribution of funding to the divers citizenry of this great and Godly nation.


-dcc


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Law to be designed and signed by Executive

Memo

TO: Congressional Democrats and Liberal Interest Groups
FROM: dcc
RE: Law to be designed and signed by Executive

Please stop complaining about the Constitution. With the introduction of the Censure Resolution by Sen. Russ Feingold (D-WI) and now this law suit about the Deficit Reduction Omnibus Reconciliation Act it is clear that you did not understand the fact that with the re-election of President Bush and his clear electoral mandate, there is no longer a need for congressional oversight or legislating.

This bill takes billions of dollars away from Medicare over the next five years. Medicare is largely seen an expense that is useless, providing medical insurance to millions of poor people who should get a job, like all of you belly aching liberals. The “constitutionality” is clearly irrelevant and at one point the Supreme Court will be completely controlled by those with the correct interpretation of the “constitution” and therefore any complaints regarding this bill are again irrelevant.

Please stop complaining and get inline. If you do not support the Deficit Reduction Omnibus Reconciliation Act (which passed the Senate 50-51) the terrorists win.

-dcc


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Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Bird Flu from Promiscuity

Memo

TO: Avian Influenza Scientists
FROM: dcc
RE: Bird Flu from Promiscuity

Scientists:

Clearly as it says in the bible, the animals will be afflicted by the maleficent of man. Please read the reports of Israeli Kabbalist David Basri as proof. Therefore the way to end the Avian Flu Pandemic is to end all sexual promiscuity. The real science must be directed in controlling hormones of sexually deviant individuals especially homosexual men.

One need look no farther than the fact that bird flu started in the Far East, known for its accepting societal regulations towards homosexuality and that it has not effected Western Europe or the United State because of its total intolerance of homosexuality in thier society. Clearly the fact that Turkey other Middle Eastern countries are discovering bird flu in their poultry stocks is because of the lavish gay pride day festivities taking place in Medina and Amman.

-dcc


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Monday, March 20, 2006

A New Foe Identified in the War on URI

Memo

TO: NYC Commuters and Upper Respiratory Sufferers
FROM: dcc
RE: A New Foe Identified in the War on URI

Private and Classified

It has been about three months since the beginning of the liberation of NYC from the Upper Respiratory Illness (URI). The War on URI has found its way into a battle of epic proportions in the Cradle of Human Breath and therefore life. The War on URI, a clearly identifiable bacterial infection plaguing the city, has metamorphosed into a Viral Infection of the throat. This must be considered part of the same War on URI and therefore must be attacked in the same way.

While none of the conventional means to fight the URI are affective in combating Viral Infections, we must stay the course to bring about the freedom to the oppressed throats of the world. As was previously mentioned the connection between these two illnesses do not exist, by following the below outlined plan, the American people will believe the threat is real and there is a clear connection between the illnesses.

First we will appoint a “friendly” group of scientists to the Food and Drug Administration and to the Centers for Disease Control. These two groups will make a few statements that will be under that radar of most of the major news publications that will be used by tacit approval for the connection between URI and Viral Infections.

As our second step we must provide evidence that the Viral Infection is clearly an illness of mass destruction and repeat this statement continuously in the media. After a clear line between the IMD and Viral Infections and ultimately the War on URI is established we will have the premises for any action against the Viral Infections under the guise of War on URI.

As previously mentioned in the original memo on URI, we will never be able to totally beat the URI into submission; we will defiantly not be able to beat the Viral Infection. However, our first hits against the Virus will seem as if we have beat the infection while in reality the insurgency of a sore throat and headache will last forever. This will allow for the eternal expansion of Pharmaceutical Industrial Complex.

Remember that this is simply an expansion of the War on URI. We must remember that if there is a scientific or medical question about the foundations of these connects we must all call this person out an agent of illness. God Bless the America.

-dcc




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Thursday, March 16, 2006

“God, Satan, and Katrina”

Memo

TO: The Editors of Newsweek
FROM: dcc
RE: “God, Satan, and Katrina”

To the Editors:

Thank you for giving Rev. Billy Graham a national stage. With his long history of compassion to those who disagree and believe differently, his words of wisdom in the answers to those lowball questions presented in this article were truly enlightening. The pages of Newsweek have been graced with the puerile albeit tame words of an internationally infamous bigot. Please consider calling the rest of the NAE all-stars to provide the opportunity for these compassionate conservatives bend their version of “good news” on the pages of Newsweek. Congratulations for this hard-hitting journalism. Next week I look forward to reading about the long lasting benefits of abstinence only sex education.

-dcc


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Revisiting hunting, abortion and abstinence only sexual education

Memo

TO: Republican Party, NAE, NRA
FROM: dcc
RE: Revisiting hunting, abortion and abstinence only sexual education
CC: NOW, NARLA, Planed Parenthood, Choice USA et al.

Friends:

It has come to my attention that a majority of the students receiving the abstinence only sexual education (AOSE) model are located in Heartland. In the AOSE model students are not taught about anything but abstaining from sex is the only way not to be infected with Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) and that babies come from storks. The logic is simple: To keep from getting Heartland children pregnant teachers tell them that by having sex before marriage will lead to a preempted arrival of a stork to their family and that they will die from horrific and medically inaccurate descriptions of preventable and treatable disease.

Most of these Heartland communities are also predominantly anti-choice and pro-life. There is a direct correlation between the AOSE and the ignoramus-like behavior towards abortion and family planning.

Finally in many Heartland states hunting is a popular activity for many people. The National Rifle Association has many of its major conventions in Heartland states and much of its membership is comprised of people living in the Heartland, while a majority of the United States population lives along the coasts.

As brief review: storks bring babies according to the education given to Heartland students, most Heartland communities are anti-choice and many Heartlanders enjoy hunting. In that we teach that storks bring babies in the venerated AOSE, would hunting these birds constitute an abortion?

This is a major problem. Please advise.

-dcc


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Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Senatorial Wardrobe Malfunctions


Memo

TO: Queer Eye Guys
FROM: dcc
RE: Senatorial Wardrobe Malfunctions

Guys:

Please discuss how to help would be Democratic Presidential hopefuls tie their ties. Clearly Sen. Russ Feingold desires much in the next few years and will find himself the Sunday Talk Shows and will have more time on CSPAN. Please help him make his tie look like it belongs around his neck.




This is even more important now that Sen. Feingold has introduced the Censure of the President of the United States. While Sen. Feingold tends to have many intelligent things to say it seems like a monkey dresses him, while the target of his current endeavor tends to have many simian-like things to say, he tends to be dressed very well. Clearly this is a problem in political world based on physical appearances.

Please take up an important stance for the people of the United States.

-dcc


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Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Religion in Schools Cafeterias

Memo

TO: Cafeteria Association of Religious Educators: Tulsa, Oklahoma, Ohio, Michigan Utah, Chicago & Houston.
FROM: dcc
RE: Religion in Schools Cafeterias
CC: Church of Scientology

It seems clear that the proliferation of religious intolerance in school lunch rooms has lead to many of our best Chefs to leave their posts, leaving children confused and sad to lose their lunch time mentors. In your position as the Cafeteria Association of Religious Educators (or CARE) you must address this concern.

CARE has in the past taken stances on bigotry, racism, homophobia and anti-Semitism all while serving millions of children Salisbury steak on Tuesdays. While most members did stay completely silent while some of the most famous elementary school children did engage in harmful and hateful speech and actions, when these children turned to attack the Church of Scientology CARE spring into action.

I thank you for your continued work to set such a high standard of decorum when dealing with these issues. CARE Tulsa, Oklahoma, Ohio, Michigan Utah, Chicago & Houston has done much of what it has set out to do in the world. Thank you again CARE TOOMUCH

-dcc


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Monday, March 13, 2006

Zacarias Moussaoui cases gets dismissed and the Terrorists win

Memo

TO: Terrorists
FROM: dcc
RE: Zacarias Moussaoui cases gets dismissed and the Terrorists win

Terrorists:

Congratulations Terrorists! Because U.S. District Judge Leonie M. Brinkema’s take the death penalty off the table of your co-worker’s conspiracy case for the death penalty, you might win your fight. Taking the death penalty will clearly allow you, the Terrorists, to win.

As we all know, thinking critically or following the laws found in the constitution leads to Terrorists (you all) to winning.

So congratulations again and good luck with taking the death penalty off the table.

-dcc


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Sunday, March 12, 2006

Acquisition of Pentagon Public Affairs Official

Memo

TO: MemoSpot Public Affairs
FROM: dcc
RE: Acquisition of Pentagon Public Affairs Official

Communications Types:

We must find the individual who place Pfc Jeffery Straat on the Weekend Today Show this morning. This fine young man has become the poster boy for the NFL recruitment angle after the news of the Fratricide former Arizona Cardinal and Army Ranger Pat Tillman. This officers placed this freshly shaven, clean cut Jarhead on the Sunday morning feel good news show to prove that the NFL is still a great place to get their poster children.

We must find this person and offer him a job. This is by far the most intelligent PR move the military has ever made. Take away from the same story with a new story! If this young man makes all the rounds, the American people are sure to forget that the venerated Pat Tillman was murdered by hazing! Brilliant!

Please make this acquisition a priority on Monday.

-dcc


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Thursday, March 09, 2006

Hiding behind a computer to speak your mind

Memo

TO: Law abiding Web-Citizens
FROM: dcc
RE: Hiding behind a computer to speak your mind

There has been an exponential increase in the number of WWW Gangs in the last ten years. We, the law abiding web-citizens, must say no to the weak minded people who need to hide behind a computer to express themselves. We must demand that these WWW Gangsters step up and identify themselves as individuals and not just IP address.

The world of the internet should be for full disclosure and not crime or unsolicited opinion. With the migration from the street to the WWW these hommies are degrading the pristine environment where America’s children spend their time learning about the importance of the American Dream. There is no place for such filth on the internet!

Gang bangers are weaklings that should stand up to the reality of the Internet age and show their true face.

-dcc


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Fixer Upper on Market in Downtown Baghdad

Memo

TO: Real-estate Developers
FROM: dcc
RE: Fixer Upper on Market in Downtown Baghdad

This soon to be emptied large cavernous building is ideal for a resort is sure to be a tourist attraction. This historical building has housed famous people in the past and is also home to a historical photo gallery.

This building is in the heart of downtown and is know for its extreme security measures. It has been said that in both the former Baathist regime as well as the current Free Iraq, anything that happens inside will never truly be discovered.When privacy is valued, this location is perfect for you and your investors.

For more information about developing the land know in the Western world as Abu-Ghraib please contact Mr. Donald Rumsfeld here.

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Lessons in Blame Shifting

Memo

TO: 109th Congress
FROM: dcc
RE: Lessons in Blame Shifting

Congress:

President Bush has presented that all of the Gulf Coast is being “short changed” when it comes to Katrina rebuilding. Clearly with the loss of the blame game, President Bush is now blaming Congress for the Administrations ineptitude. While the over use of the term "blame game" did get pretty old, it did succeed in shifting the focus of lackluster response of the federal government to a lackluster PR move. Shockingly not playing the blame game resulted in blaming Democrats.

However, President Bush stated clearly that you, the 109th Congress, are shafting the Gulf Coast. As the President takes more photo-ops please be advised he will continue to blame you for his mistakes. There is something to be learned here. Next week we will find that it is France who is at fault for the insurgency in Iraq.

-dcc




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Wednesday, March 08, 2006

You are not going to die

Memo

TO: Coffee Consumers
FROM: dcc
RE: You are not going to die

A study published today regarding the consumption of high levels of caffeine, a chemical that makes one jumpy and nervous, can lead to heart attack. This shocking revelation that extended exposure to this blood pressure increasing substance will lead to heart problems is shocking.

However because Americans tend to be conspicuous consumers in general, the nearly 3 million Americans who consume on average 2.5 cups of coffee a day will be in good company with the nearly 2/3 of the American population who are over weight.

In conclusion, there is nothing to be worried about and to stop the vigorous consumption of coffee would be detrimental to the world economy and national security. So enjoy your Vente Quad Soy Latte with Splenda.

-dcc


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Monday, March 06, 2006

Do not worry about the Democrats

Memo

TO: RCCC, RSCC,RNC
FROM: dcc
RE: Do not worry about the Democrats

Republicans:

Even with our reported inept response to Katrina, our current mishaps with lobbyists, our flexible ideas about ethics, torture of detainees, preemptive war with fluid goals, domestic wire taps on American citizens, stone walling of reporters, funding religious groups in favor social programming for impoverished Americans, politicization of science and stacking of the federal bench the Democrats will not have a clear message for at least six months.

According to Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV)"By the time the election rolls around, people are going to know where Democrats stand.” So for at least six months we can dominate the airwaves and legislative agenda with no real competition or argument.


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Our Gays Stay Out of Streets Most of the Time

Memo

TO: Focus on the Family, Catholic League, Traditional Values Coalition
FROM: dcc
RE: Our Gays Stay Out of Streets Most of the Time

Values People:

Today we learn of the debauchery that is known well in Australia. Their Gays do not stay in the mountains to heard sheep, but dance in the streets. While we know that Gays constitute at least 10% of the global population, in the United States they have the good sense to stay in Hollywood and the hills of Brokeback. We must stand against such horrific statements of freedom and exposure to what we do not think is good for our children. What is next from these Gay loving Australians? Marriage equality and visitation rights for Gays? We must stand for the traditional values of the oppression of those we do not agree with and condemn them to hell. For as it says in the bible: If you disagree with us you are going to hell (FoF 10:12).

Thank you all for all of your work to insure the vitality of the ideals of a minority of repressed people in America and please help to keep the Gays in the hills.

-dcc



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Didn’t we do this before?

Memo

TO: AT&T HQ
FROM: dcc
RE: Didn’t we do this before?

AT&T

If I am not mistaking you were once monopoly and then the evil busy-body federal government started regulating your business interests and then made the Bell Family extremely dysfunctional; leading to the 1984 break up of AT&T. However, now you are looking to get back together with your former family. This is a great step forward for American Family Values and for Corporate Strength in this country.

Congratulations on working your way around the governments strangle hold on multi-billion dollar corporate interests while terminating more than 10,000 American workers. Please also comply with all court orders to provide call records of terrorists. You as a corporation are living the American Dream.

-dcc


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Sunday, March 05, 2006

Please come back to work for the Bush Administration

Memo

TO: Plumbers et al.
FROM: dcc
RE: Please come back to work for the Bush Administration

Gentlemen:

It has been far too long since the government enforced a no leak policy upon all of its employees. It gives me great pride to share with you that the Bush White House has instituted lie detector tests and threats of espionage against employees and journalists.

Because of your abilities and skills, this memo is to serve as a head hunting notice. Please report to serve your countries as it destroys evil civil liberties to protect the American Way.

Regards to the family,

-dcc


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Saturday, March 04, 2006

FEMA tapes and vindication

Memo

TO: Brownie
FROM: dcc
RE: FEMA tapes and vindication
CC: POTUS, VPOTUS, Department of Homeland Security, Gulf Coast Residents from Eastern Texas to Western Alabama

Brownie:

Please answer the following questions in the body of this memo and respond to all CC’s:
1. Did you nationalize the hurricane relief of the summer of 2005 with in a day of the extreme flooding in NOLA?
2. Did you have time to have multiple email exchanges about your physical appearance and wardrobe in during the days after the Katrina?
3. Besides having a “gut feeling this was going to be a bad one” what did you do to prepare for the massive amount of evacuees and fatalities?
4. Did you speak with Mayor Ray Nagin about your contingency plans for a major levy breach prior to landfall?

If you answered no to a majority of these questions, these tapes make you look a little less inept. Please refrain from going on TV and pretending it was “a Washington need to put a good face on the problem.”

-dcc


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Thursday, March 02, 2006

Watch your mouth when calling your Senators – their phones are tapped

Memo
TO: Constituents of Daniel Akaka, Jeff Bingaman, Robert Byrd, Russell Feingold, Tom Harkin, Patrick Leahy, Carl Levin, Patty Murray, Ron Wyden and James Jeffords
FROM: dcc
RE: Watch your mouth when calling your Senators – their phones are tapped

For those of you in the states represented by the above listed Senators, please mind your words when making constituent calls to these offices. After voting against the renewal of the USA PATRIOT ACT today, the administration feels that these members of Senate clearly are comprise of a small but powerful sleeper cell just waiting to attack by protecting civil liberties and the American Way.

-dcc


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Wednesday, March 01, 2006

An even better way to stop unintended pregnancies in the US

Memo

TO: Half of the Female Population Getting Pregnant in the United State
FROM: dcc
RE: An even better way to stop unintended pregnancies in the US
CC: Pro-Life types

Women:

While it is clear that the 33 states that have substantially cut funding to life saving and sustaining medical information and contraceptives is a step in the direction of Life and the American Dream, there is an even better way to stop unintended pregnancies in this country: Have boys.

Where as about 50% of all babies born in the US are girls, there is a huge portion of the younger population who could get pregnant. Therefore by having only boys there will be no more abortions or even unwanted pregnancies. This way the Administration can continue to cut funding to women’s health care facilities not based on political and religious grounds but due to demographical shifts.

Thank you for your cooperation.

-dcc


Did you get the memo? Follow the link to learn more:
http://www.cafepress.com/memospot/