The Memo Spot

Inspirational words have found their way into prose, poetry, song and essay. Never before has the memo been given its proper place among the powerful tools of language...until now.

Name:
Location: New York, New York, Timor-Leste

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Vigilantism in the Ranks

Memo

TO: American Sheriffs Association
FROM: dcc
RE: Vigilantism in the Ranks
CC: FEMA

The reports out of Mississippi are dangerous and must be stopped. Wide spread vigilantism may break out if Sheriff Billy McGee is not sentenced to a harsh punishment for delivering water and ice to Katrina Victims when FEMA was stopping by bureaucratic ineptitude and debilitating stupidity. By taking the water sent by the Federal Government to the people who needed it, Sheriff McGee put the lives of many Americans at risk. The Administration’s Department of Homeland Security knew what to do in that time period and stopping for days on end with water and ice in the hot southern summer was the right thing to do for the American people.

Please put an end to this type of selfless service.

Send letters to the US Attorney’s Office to Demand Action.

Dunn Lampton
United States Attorney
Southern District of Mississippi
188 East Capitol Street
One Jackson Place, Suite 500
Jackson, Mississippi 39201
Phone: 601-965-4480
Fax: 601-965-4409
email: dunn.lampton@usdoj.gov


To Protect and Serve the Executive Branch.

-dcc


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New Member Announcement

Memo

TO: The American Corporate Alliance
FROM: dcc
RE: New Member Announcement

It is with great pleasure I announce that the American Red Cross will be joining our Alliance. After a $500K media buy for a public relations push and a Senate inquiry into financial shadiness, the Red Cross has passed its tests to be a full fledged member of the ACA.

Over the years, allegations of misallocated funds have sparked our interest however nothing has been as good as their mismanagement of the post-Katrina relief efforts and their total disregard of the donors’ will.

Congratulations Red Cross on your entry.

-dcc


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Monday, February 27, 2006

Keeping the French Chicken Out

Memo

TO: World Poultry Consumers
FROM: dcc
RE: Keeping the French Chicken Out

WPC:

Your understandable fear of French Chicken is only a baseless fear. Chicken, while a major product of France, tends to do no harm without major support from its allies. In that most of the world now is fighting the Bird Flu issue, fear not in the consumption of French Chicken. The French Chicken is famous for being perceived as harmful while really just being quite tasty and artistic. Danger is not usually a characteristic of the French Chicken.

Your need to boycott the French Chicken at this point is not necessary and will only lead to more misunderstandings. Besides it is not like the French boycott or impose ridiculously debilitating tariffs on other nation’s agricultural products.

But please let the French Chicken into your markets. When was the last time anything French caused any harm?

-dcc


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Women in our Workplace

Memo

TO: CEOs
FROM: dcc
RE: Women in our Workplace

Gentlemen:

A recent study shows that women know we are keeping them out of power in the corporate environment. This is not truly a problem yet and the publishers of the study have even blamed women for their lack of ambition.

The study entitled “More women business leaders should step into the limelight,” recently pointed out the need for women to take more responsibilities and charge up the ladder of corporate power. While this is nice, gentlemen, let us do our very best to insure our jobs and power for the next generation.

We can do better. Long live the glass-ceiling.

-dcc


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Continued Oppression of Curiosity and Literary Imperialism



Memo

TO: Man in the Yellow Hat
FROM: dcc
RE: Continued Oppression of Curiosity and Literary Imperialism
CC: CG, Rey Family Trust

MYH:

Your continued oppression of a “sad but still a little curious” monkey has been going on for the last half of a century. Your inability to see the errors of your ways has finally been illuminated by our allies in the fight against fun children’s story books at the ArkOnline. Clearly the true account of your life with a wild monkey living in your home in suburbia without a jungle gym is a tried and true example of imperialism. How could we remain silent in the face of such terror?

While there are countless other oppressive acts and imperialistic tendencies being pursued around the world, we along with ArkOnline feel it is paramount to end the oppression of living breathing friend of nature you have imprisoned for the last six decades. This is of the utmost importance.

FREE GEORGE!

-dcc


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Sunday, February 26, 2006

You will be ungrounded when you start behaving

Memo

TO: Iraqis
FROM: dcc
RE: You will be ungrounded when you start behaving

Iraqis:

Stop complaining about your curfew. You have been grounded because of your bad behavior. Clearly because you are not following the rules of the omni-correct and omnipotent liberators of the United States, you have been grounded.

The lack of food for your family, clean water to drink or desire to go outside is because you have been bad. So until you can all get your act together, you will remain grounded.

Keep it in mind next time you think you want to start a large fight; you will get grounded.

Go to your room, if it is not liberated by US artillery.

-dcc


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Saturday, February 25, 2006

Reaching for the Middle is when the Terrorist Win, Stick to No Child Left Behind

Memo

TO: TFA
FROM: dcc
RE: Reaching for the Middle is when the Terrorist Win, Stick to No Child Left Behind

Teachers:

In an op-ed published today in the Washington Post, that liberal bastion of terror, we find that your ranks are looking to strive to reach the “normal” or mediocre students. These students may consist of a majority of the kids you will teach and may even one-day walk the halls of power, but in America we strive for the best because that is what freedom and standardized tests are about.

Please advise your teachers to stop this complaining about not having down time and the need to reach the average student. The reality is that this Administration has given the education system all it needs. No Child Left Behind and its fantastic systems wide standardized tests give your teachers everything to reach the kids.

Thank you for your dedication to what the administration thinks is best for the future of America.


-dcc


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Friday, February 24, 2006

Responsibility for Actions

Memo

TO: Marriage Protectors and Traditional Values Defenders
FROM: dcc
RE: Responsibility for Actions
CC: Focus on the Family, Christian Coalition et al.

Friends:

This is time to applaud the sometime difficult Sudan. Here this government, guilty of the mass murder and genocide of hundreds of thousands and forcible displacement of millions, has taken a stand for traditional values. It has said there is to be no sexual relationship with out marriage. Please consider inviting the community organization who demanded such action to our next meeting; for they were able to force society to act in a way that is parallel with our values. There are lessons to learn from the Sudanese in this manner.

We stand firmly with the Sudanese forcing Mr Tombe to marry his goat after he took her virtue.

-dcc


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FREEDOM OF INFORMATION and ACLU

Memo

TO: Mr. Robert Mueller, Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation
FROM: dcc
RE: FREEDOM OF INFORMATION and ACLU
CC: DOD, Gitmo Guards International: Local 10987 (GGI 10987)

Mueller:

The ACLU involvement in this particular aspect of work is unacceptable. This organization has worked to limit the USA PATRIOT ACT. This obviously has affected your ability to see the big picture of this administration; ignore these requests. Have you not see the news about FISA? What about the wire taps? Mueller: we don’t follow the rules anymore.

Regardless of your thoughts on the so-called torture of gitmo detainees, the administration knows what is best.

Again, regards to Ann.

-dcc



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Behavior unfitting for a government official and appointee

Memo

TO: Mr. Robert Mueller, Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation
FROM: dcc
RE: Behavior unfitting for a government official and appointee
CC: DOD, Gitmo Guards International: Local 10987 (GGI 10987)

Mr. Mueller, et al:

Sir, disagreement over the legal treatment of detained evil doers is tantamount to treason. I write you this memo to remind you that while Scooter may be out of the picture, there are many other people who can take the fall and out one of your family members as a spy in a foreign country or something to that effect. While you are an exemplary member of the Executive Wing of our government, I need not remind you we are currently in a don’t ask don’t tell administration. And therefore your disagreement with the treatment in Guantanamo is unacceptable, for your allegations of will result in asking and telling by entirely too many people.

While you may have the last word in domestic interrogations that you know about, a military investigation into allegations of abuse at Guantanamo Bay found the cumulative effect of the detainee's treatment was abusive, but not illegal. So there.

Please take this memo as a friendly warning to get in step with the administration or have your wife vilified by unnamed sources close to the President and Robert Novak. Regards to Ann.

-dcc


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Thursday, February 23, 2006

The Blame Game: the Jews, America and the rest of the world

Memo

TO: Organizers of Fundamentalist Response to Cartoons
FROM: dcc
RE: The Blame Game: the Jews, America and the rest of the world

Organizers:

Please remember that the cartoons that you are all organizing around to bring the destruction of many flags, embassies and fast food establishments, are directly connected with the bombing of Golden Mosque in Samarra, Iraq. Clearly the cartoons that were printed in Northern Europe, a very friendly location for Jews and the United States, were responsible for the sectarian violence committed against the Shi’ite holy site. Not the Jews or the United States, but the actual cartoons.

Accordingly please follow the example of the Pakistani riot yesterday.

Thank you all.

-dcc



Did you get the memo? Follow the link to learn more:
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Save the Free Freedom of Expression and Enterprise

Memo

TO: Blog People, Internet Start Up People and other web-types
FROM: dcc
RE: Save the Free Freedom of Expression and Enterprise

Friends:

This memo is intended to serve as a notice: Internet Service Providers, according to Steven Levy’s Newsweek Article, are going to start charging websites and services for the use of high speed connections. While this will not eliminate the existence of the free sites, blogs or start-ups it may create a second class web nation of those targeted by this memo.

So now is the time to rise up or at least write something about it and be completely indignant. We the few and proud individuals of the blog world have a responsibility to write long and meaningful manifestos about anything of consequence in the world, while most of the time we, the few and the proud, write long and meaningless manifestos about everything without consequence.

Therefore it is time to protect our rights as the purveyors of useless information and opinion to support our right to have our voices be heard as loud as the rest of the people who pretend they should be heard. Just because you have a column in the New York Times or the Washington Post or even on Daily Kos, means your long winded opinions are more important than the millions on WordPress or Blogger.

US Senator Ron Wyden (D-OR) is taking on this cause. Please write to him to say thank you: http://wyden.senate.gov/contact/. Also write to your senator and ask him or her to stick up for your right to let everyone know what you feel for free.

We are the people of the web. There are a lot of us. We clearly have enough time to write about nothing, everyday. We can take a few minutes a week to cause trouble in our local senate offices. If we do not do it, then the terrorist win.

-dcc


Did you get the memo? Follow the link to learn more:
http://www.cafepress.com/memospot/

Reports of Incompetence Can Lead to Termination

Memo

TO: CEOs, CFOs and Government Executives
FROM: dcc
RE: Reports of Incompetence Can Lead to Termination

Gentlemen:

Well this is a turn for the worst. The report being widely circulated today about Fannie Mae and its “down turn” will lead to a determent environment for our friends. This report states that the head of the company’s finances was ultimately responsible for its financial problems. There was no fall person, no woman middle level executive to fire, no mass lay offs to save bonuses. This is a terrifying trend: Executives being held responsible.

Obviously this memo is to inform you of the situation and to begin our “conversations” with law makers to insure this does not continue. Simply because there is not a tax bracket high enough for most of us, does not mean we do not get special protections from the law.

-dcc


Did you get the memo? Follow the link to learn more:
http://www.cafepress.com/memospot/

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Leave the President Alone

Memo

TO: Members of the 109th Congress, National Governors Association
FROM: dcc
RE: Leave the President Alone
CC: POTUS, VPOTUS, Secretary Michael Chertoff

As we learned in the the previous memo on this topic we need to trust the President simply because he asked us trust him. Now we know that we don’t even need to trust him because the President of the United States had nothing to do with the resale of ports to a foreign government owned corporation.

It is clear that this is just a simple deal for the United States. People, it is clear. The ever truthful Scott McClellan, White House Press Secretary said “One thing we will never do is outsource to anyone the control and security of our ports, whether that's Dubai or any other entity that operates terminals at our ports."

The control of the entire Eastern Sea board the currently destroyed New Orleans port are not as important as wire tapping your phones. The time is now to reinstate the USA PATRIOT ACT.


-dcc


Did you get the memo? Follow the link to learn more:
http://www.cafepress.com/memospot/

Intent to Legislate from the Bench for Attention

Memo

TO: The State of South Dakota
FROM: dcc
RE: Intent to Legislate from the Bench for Attention

South Dakotans:

Pursuant to the passage and signing of the Abortion Ban later this week or early next week, your legislators are openly arguing that this law will be decided by the Supreme Court. State Representative Roger Hunt, a Republican who has sponsored the bill, said that he is “convinced that the timing is right for this," noting the appointments of Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. and Justice Samuel A. Alito Jr. to the court. He continued by stating that the “strong possibility of a third appointee sometime soon makes this all very real and very viable," Mr. Hunt added, a reference to conjecture that Justice John Paul Stevens, 85, might soon retire. "I think it will all culminate at the right time."

South Dakotans, both Legislators and Citizens, the rest of the United States will pay attention to you if you would like. There is no need to try make the slim majority opinion in your sparsely populated state the law of the land based on the fact that a there are some new robes on the bench. I promise to pay more attention to you if you promise to leave judicial precedent alone.

Deal?

-dcc


Did you get the memo? Follow the link to learn more:
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New Appointment of Cardinals



Memo

TO: The Church
FROM: dcc
RE: New Appointment of Cardinals
CC: World Wildlife Foundation

Catholics:

Mazel tov! However it looks more like a dove than a Cardinal. All recipients, please advise.

-dcc


Did you get the memo? Follow the link to learn more:
http://www.cafepress.com/memospot/

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Band of Brothers – Action needed


Memo

TO: RCCC
FROM: dcc
RE: Band of Brothers – Action needed
CC: Swift Boat Vets For Truth

In an earlier memo to Republican Legislators we outlined the problem of Democrats actually pointing out our flaws not only flopping around as they have since the early 1990s and now they have organized their veteran candidates. It is going to be unbelievably difficult to call all of these people un-American. We were able to get Max Cleland, but more than 50 decorated vets?

Therefore we must take action now. The Band of Brothers, is a PAC dedicated to electing veterans as Democrats to the 110th Congress. This will be devastating to our ability to paint all Dems as pink-o commie weaklings. While we were able to out maneuver Kerry and cut of Cleland we do not have the resources to nail all of these vets and dedicated servants of the average American.

Again please advise.

-dcc




Did you get the memo? Follow the link to learn more:
http://www.cafepress.com/memospot/

Let the President do his job!

Memo

TO: Members of the 109th Congress, National Governors Association
FROM: dcc
RE: Let the President do his job!
CC: POTUS, VPOTUS, Secretary Michael Chertoff

Congress and Governers:

Please allow the President to do his job of opening markets and therefore opening closed societies to true democracy. As we know, President Bush is a full supporter of all things democratic in the Middle East, either by force or by finance. By granting a Middle Eastern company the opportunity to provide the security of American ports, the Administration is spreading good will and the watch word of democracy through the Middle East.

In a 20-minute impromptu meeting with reporters aboard Air Force One, Bush said he would veto any legislation that attacks these port deals. President Bush also said by having the elected officials of the people of the United States air concerns about the safety of such a deal would send "mixed signals" because no criticism was raised when a British company was in charge. The President continued by demanding that you all "step up and explain why a Middle Eastern company is held to a different standard."

People, we need to help the President and not hinder him with meaningless threats of checks and balances. The President was elected by an overwhelming number of people, more than any of you (in raw data) and should be seen as the final word on all things having to do with the democratization of the Middle East.

Thank you for your understanding.

-dcc


Did you get the memo? Follow the link to learn more:
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Fiscally Sound Democratic Gov. to Tax to Pay for Infrastructure Improvements

Memo

TO: Legislative Republicans
FROM: dcc
RE: Fiscally Sound Democratic Gov. to Tax to Pay for Infrastructure Improvements
CC: Gov Timothy M. Kaine, (D-VA)

Legislative Republicans:

The Democrats are finally getting it: Tax and Spend on things the average American needs. They Dems are calling us for cutting education and funding wars like they always did but now they are funding roads with these taxes? There is trouble afoot.

The cuts we propose across the country to make our nation’s government significantly smaller domestically while funneling funds overseas to make our imperial presence domineering for the pursuit of freedom are finally catching up to us and this is an election year. Gov. Kaine (copied on this because of the pesky Freedom of Information Act) has said that the House committee's refusal to consider tax increases for road and transit spending led it to cut "really good, important programs" in the state's operating budget. They even got us for cutting a few million for the teachers of tough school.

These pesky Dems have found the cavernous flaw in our system; money from our citizens should not be spent on tax cuts and force fed democracy. Gentlemen we must do something.

Please advise. Read more here and here.

-dcc


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Monday, February 20, 2006

Judicial Review Marred by Interpretation

Memo

TO: The Framers of the Constitution
FROM: dcc
RE: Judicial Review Marred by Interpretation

Franklin, Washington, Hamilton, Hancock et al:

For your review – please resolve judicial branch understanding

As you can see from this report, many members of the bench appointed by the two Parties still running the country you so intelligently framed a few years back, tend to have prejudicial positions on criminals that seem to favor their political appointers core constituency.

While this may be hard to grasp, it seems that the jurists appointed by the populous party favor shorter sentence for what is being termed as street crimes while serving harsh sentences on those committing corporate crime or white collar crime. The landed party tends to follow the opposite trend. This is a shocking abomination to the stated purpose of your judicial system must be addressed. Thank you all for your time.

-dcc


Did you get the memo? Follow the link to learn more:
http://www.cafepress.com/memospot/

Ice is still slippery


Memo

TO: Ice Sport Participants
FROM: dcc
RE: Ice is still slippery

ISPs:

According to a recent study done by many top scientists from many of the best universities and research labs in the world including Northwestern University, Lawrence Berkeley and the University of California, Davis ice is still slippery.

These scientists are working tirelessly to explain the reason behind this phenomenon. Further proving that the pursuit of already acquired knowledge will produce very important advances for society.

-dcc

Did you get the memo? Follow the link to learn more:
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Sunday, February 19, 2006

Wal-Mart Maturity: Ward or Department?

Memo

TO: OBGYN Association of America
FROM: dcc
RE: Wal-Mart Maturity: Ward or Department?

OBGYNers:

By now I am sure you have heard about the baby born in a Florida Wal-Mart. However what I am not sure you have heard is that the mother was no just going in for the reported baby car seat, but was smiling because of the falling prices of the Wal-Mart Maturity Ward. The jobs of the OBGYN Association of America members are in jeopardy of being smashed by falling prices.

Wal-Mart is taking over even the most technical of professions. When Wal-Mart came for the small business no one said anything. When Wal-Mart came for the bookstores no one said anything. When Wal-Mart came for the food stores no one said anything. When Wal-Mart came for the auto-parts stores no one said anything. But now when Wal-Mart comes for the OBGYNers, there seems like there is no one left to say anything.

This classic fight of David verses the Goliath will not end here, soon surgeons and lawyers will become victims of the Herculean falling prices. Even the Wal-Mart employees said "It was excellent customer service." It is time to work together to stop this empire.

-dcc

Did you get the memo? Follow the link to learn more:
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A Friend Told Me it was True Creationism


Memo

TO: Scientists and Educators
FROM: dcc
CC: Evangelist Ken Ham
RE: A Friend Told Me it was True Creationism


Scientists and Educators:

Clearly there is new research available to teach us of the origin of mankind. Mr. Ken Ham and his organization Answers in Genesis will provide these findings. I for one am very happy to be able to provide this information to you in this memo: Scientists do not know anyone who saw the Big Bang, and therefore it could not have happened because they did not see it happen. Mr. Ham clearly knows and speaks with God as a friend – in that Mr. Ham says God was there at the beginning of the world, therefore in that he knows a friend who saw it happen and no scientist has a friend who saw the Big Bang take place, the Genesis creation story must be true.

As many of you know as well, there is a concurrent theory of creation of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. There is no one in the Church of FSM who knows the FSM and therefore fails Mr. Ham’s theory of “a friend told me it was true” creationism cannot be satisfied.

Thank you all and please send your regards to Mr. Ham.

-dcc

Did you get the memo? Follow the link to learn more:
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Saturday, February 18, 2006

Global Warming?

Memo

TO: So-called Scientists
FROM: dcc
RE: Global Warming?

SCS:

Tonight’s overnight low in NYC will feel like 8 degrees Fahrenheit (or -13.3 C for you non-Americans). So therefore your argument about global warming or what you have re-termed “Climate Change” is clearly flawed. While the temperature yesterday was in the mid-50s Fahrenheit (10-15 C) yesterday, it is freezing today. Colder than it has been all season. The science is in the wind chill.

The truth behind Climate Change is that it is not true. We know that weather changes and sometime there are new different issues that come about in global climate. Heavy Rains leading to devastating mudslides, Hurricane Katrina, Rita, Wilma and all 31 other tropical storms, the coldest winter in Russia ever , 65 degree Fahrenheit (24 C) days followed by Ice Storms are meaningless. The new reports of Global Warming from the artic ignore the benefits of changing the world and look only at the new source of carbon being released into the air compounding the so-called hole in the Ozone.

As most intelligently designed individuals understand, that nothing we can do will change the logical and natural pursuit of the climate. Slowing the use of Freedom Sauce or other petroleum products will only make this country less free, because as we have learned in the last few years all scientific issues are political.

-dcc

Did you get the memo? Follow the link to learn more:
http://www.cafepress.com/memospot/

Friday, February 17, 2006

Ideas for Chinese Food Restaurants

Memo

TO: Restaurateurs
FROM: dcc
RE: Ideas for Chinese Food Restaurants

Some of you may remember the MEMOSPOT Culinary and Economic Award given to New Time Restaurant last December. Many people have been in contact with me to solicit advice on how to start a new restaurant. Here are some ideas for a Wok Restaurant. Good luck with all your endeavors.

Wok around the Clock – 24 Hour Chinese Food
Wok In, Take Out – Take out only Chinese Food
Wok and Roll – Free CD and Egg Roll with ever Order
Speed Woking – Fast and Healthy Chinese Food


-dcc

Did you get the memo? Follow the link to learn more:
http://www.cafepress.com/memospot/

Thursday, February 16, 2006

The Eternal Upper Respiratory Illness Inflicted upon the City Commentary and Responses

Memo

TO: NYC Commuters
FROM: dcc
CC: http://moldinfo4u.com
RE: The Eternal Upper Respiratory Illness Inflicted upon the City Commentary and Responses

Friends:

As you know the War on the Upper Respiratory Illness (URI) is well underway. However I would like to update you all on new member of the Coalition of the Cleaning and Disinfecting.

Here is the Commentary and Response from the Private and Classified memo:

black mold test kit said...
Warning...Warning.. Safety Tip of the WEEK...If you are having problems with colds and sickness in your home and you live in a moist wet ares [sic] of the country. Then you might want a black mold test kit .. If you see black dust looking stuff on your walls or around your bathtub,shower [sic] or sink then you probaly [sic] have a mold problem and need to get a black mold test kit . Dont [sic] panic and think you need to get a black mold test kit right away. You can use bleach to clean it up with some paper tools and then dispose of the towels a trash bag. If you need some more info visit http://moldinfo4u.com I hope you have a safe and sickness free home...

Clearly we have strong, intelligent help in the War on URI.

-dcc

Did you get the memo? Follow the link to learn more:
http://www.cafepress.com/memospot/

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Canine Human Shared Attributes

Memo

TO: Dogs and Dog Owners
FROM: dcc
CC: Westminster Kennel Club
RE: Canine Human Shared Attributes

Friends and Man’s Best:

Over the past six months I have done extensive observatory research to the fact that approximately 99% of dogs share a majority of behavioral and physical attributes with their owners. While I cannot determine what party has greater influence over the other it is clear to me that a significant percentage of Canine Human pairs do have similar shared attributes.

For example, one might notice a large, strong dog running next to his proud tall and strong athletic owner. This may seem like a very obvious relationship yet there are much more profound relationships as well. Another example is the shorter pugnacious man who lives with his six mini-pugs. As he walks with shuffled feet, all six of his “boys” encircle him with tripping over themselves as well. When the dogs are friendly to passers by, so is the owner. Many has been the time in my observations, if the dogs are made unhappy by the proximity of a passerby, the owner is ready and willing to get in anyone’s face.

Please view the library of photos provided here for further proof and feel free to contact me with reviews or other theories.

-dcc


Did you get the memo? Follow the link to learn more:
http://www.cafepress.com/memospot/

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Degradation of Traditional Flavors

Memo

TO: Coca Cola Corporation, Pepsi Corporation, Dr. Pepper Corporation, et al
FROM: dcc
CC: TCA
RE: Degradation of Traditional Flavors

Cola Corporations:

The current trend we have seen around the country of non-traditional unions of flavors in soda is un-American and in staunch opposition to our traditional values. Things like Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper or Black Cherry Diet Coke are simply wrong and as a concerned American I will spend endless hours to insure that the spread of this putrid filth is stopped.

Over the years, we have seen failed attempts by your companies to change the fabric of America. Clear Coke and Crystal Pepsi failed because no God-fearing American would be caught dead in the same room as this drink let alone drink such a “cola.” As we all know cola is the union of sugar and brown fizzy water. Nothing else can be called cola for it would be non-traditional and hence degrade the institution of cola.

While some changes have taken place over time (diet colas, sprite and 7up colas or fruit flavored cola) they obviously fall into the traditional definitions of cola because all reasonable people agree with such a statement. Yet these add-in flavors making people look twice in a convenient store and tasting like nothing God had intended a completely synthetic beverage to taste like; your new so-called “colas” are ripping at the fabric of an important American institution: sugar based beverages.

Let it be known that I and the undersigned members of our Traditional Cola Alliance will not be silenced and oppressed by your destruction of traditional America.

-dcc



Did you get the memo? Follow the link to learn more:
http://www.cafepress.com/memospot/

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Wiretap Permission Slip

Memo

TO: Subversives and Rebels
FROM: dcc
CC: VPOTUS, POTUS, USAG, DOJ
RE: Wiretap Permission Slip

So called liberty protectors:

Due the increases in your excessive ‘rights’ (which by the way we were protecting) from the recent act of Congress, we are circulating this memo to inform you that you will receive a Wiretap Permission Slip (WPS) with in the next few weeks.

In the expansion of FISA or to rather follow it your WPS will be held on file at the DOJ. This way there will be no need for the court ruling but forced participation by all those suspected and probably involved with terrorists, both at home and abroad.

If you know someone in your so-called Peace organization or other terrorist groups you belong to who did not receive a copy of this memo, please feel free to forward it to them.

-dcc

Did you get the memo? Follow the link to learn more:
http://www.cafepress.com/memospot/

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Not being censored by our Chinese Food Providers


Memo

TO: Chinese Food Eaters
FROM: dcc
RE: Not being censored by our Chinese Food Providers

Friends:

While the country of origin may have the ability to take some liberties with liberty, here at the Memo Spot we feel obligated to step up and engage our parent company Google’s weakness. Please know that this food sign is found in every single Chinese Food Provider in the world.

Well that is a lie. However, the Memo Spot feel obligated to exercise its freedoms of expression and perhaps bend the truthification of this picture.

However, the Memo Spot applauds those in the memo and blog community for stepping up to the plate against all of the corporate and government interests fighting US and other truthifing.

-dcc

Did you get the memo? Follow the link to learn more:
http://www.cafepress.com/memospot/

****** (Truthified) by the Great State of China

Memo

TO: Chinese Affiliates
FROM: dcc
CC: Hu Jintao, President of China
RE: ****** (Truthified) by the Great State of China

Friends:

Let it be known, that we here at our company will be falling under the new guidelines put forth by our parent cooperation ****** (The Great Truth Finder), we too will be ****** (truthified) by China.

We would also like you to know that ** **** ** ****** ** ******** ** the Chinese peoples’ ****** ** *******.

Thank you all and may *** **** America and China

-dcc

[**** (words) = the Great State's new words; ***** **** = the Great State finds no truth in anything, hence no addition or new truth]


Did you get the memo? Follow the link to learn more:
http://www.cafepress.com/memospot/

Monday, February 06, 2006

The Use of Meeting Requests Without Personalization

Memo

TO: Meeting Planers
FROM: dcc
CC: All Staff
RE: The Use of Meeting Requests Without Personalization

MPs:

While technology makes all of our lives better, more reliable and involves considerably less human interaction, we must all take the time to remember we work with people and not just other computers. Therefore this memo is to serve as a reminder that when you send a “Meeting Requests” through Outlook, take a minute to write a little note.

For those of you who work in Data Services or just lack all interpersonal skills here are two examples of “Meeting Requests.” The first example is what we are trying to get away from, while the second is what we strive for in our company.

To: Jim Staffmember
From: dcc
Location: Conf Room B
RE: your behavior last week

What is wrong with this message you ask. Clearly one will jump to the obvious conclusion the Jim is in a bit of hot water with management, however if personalization took place it would be clear what the real reason is for this meeting.

To: Jim Staffmember
From: dcc
Location: Conf Room B
RE: your behavior last week
NOTE: I would like to discuss with you how well you handled the fire and aftermath last week. In addition it is always a pleasure to talk with you.

As you can see, this personalization in the form of a NOTE takes only seconds and makes the recipient of said request, feel like he is a person again. Please help spread the feeling of humanity through the company again. It is important to remember we are all human.

-dcc

Did you get the memo? Follow the link to learn more:
http://www.cafepress.com/memospot/