The Memo Spot

Inspirational words have found their way into prose, poetry, song and essay. Never before has the memo been given its proper place among the powerful tools of language...until now.

Name:
Location: New York, New York, Timor-Leste

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

FFS

Memo

TO: Laundry doers
FROM: dcc (the kct)
CC: Fabric Softener Industry
RE: Review of Fabric Soften Sheets (FSS)

In review of laundry done in the past few weeks, it has come to my attention fabric softener sheets (FSS) are not working. My fabrics, after being washed and then dried, have the same quotient of softness with or with said sheets. Why then do we continue to buy a useless product?

The answer is in the chemical compounds found in the sheets and the advertisement - or shall I say propaganda - campaign of the industry. This memo will be broken into two parts: 1) the chemical compound and 2) the information machine of the industry.

1) The chemical compound found in the FSS has been know to turn bears into tame and cuddly creators. This would suggest that strength of this compound would included some sort of animal tranquilizer. However that would not explain the human addiction to such a product. After much study and many tests it has become clear that the major component of the chemical compound of FSS is pure Colombian Gold blend dope.

This is not to say that those who uses FSS will turn into uncontrolled junkies. Such tactics have been employed in the past such as Coca-Cola including cocaine in its products and the Republican party chemically retarding its constituents. While no chemically induced product dependancy is good, these dependencies do not have major long term consequences. (Besides those made by those who the retards have voted into office.)

2) The propaganda campaign of these FSS industry has been cleverly disguised as a normal household product advertisement campaign. However this could not be further from the truth. Please take the time to watch these seemingly benign “ads” and study the product placement, the promises made and the spokes people or animals. Everything in these commercials is based on a lie.

However, regardless of the facts presented in this memo, this product is completely unnecessary in the process of laundry. One can clean his clothing, dry it and fold it nicely with out ever using a single FSS.


Take care,

-dcc (King Conspiracy Theorist)

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

The Best Shoe Shine in NYC

Memo

TO: Professionals working within walking distance of Grand Central Stations, NYC
FROM: dcc
CC: The Guys at the “best shoe shine in NYC”
RE: The Best Shoe Shine in NYC

As we all know the City can be detrimental to the longevity of ones shoes. Every few weeks one should get ones shoes professionally shined. As a coworker in the area I would like to provide a location in this memo where you can find one of the best shoe shines in all of NYC.

All of us working in the above stated area are familiar with the Grand Central Station and the brake neck pace at which we hustle about it. Yet it would be in the best interests of our collective footwear for all of us to slow down right before we enter Grand Central (between 3rd and Lexington on 42nd) to get our shoes shined.

The shoe shine technicians available at these shoe shine stands are the best in the business, equipped with not only the skills and materials to remove the grime and return the shine, but with some fun stories for the ten minutes of time you are on their stand. The best shoe shine is much more than an investment in your footwear, it is ten minutes of news, entertainment and cultural exchange.

with shinny shoes on,

-dcc