Unicycles, Gays and the United States of America

Memo

TO: All Staff
FROM: dcc
RE: Unicycles, Gays and the United States of America

FOR INTERNAL USE ONLY. ALL OPINIONS ARE OF THE AUTHOR AND NOT THE OFFICAL STANCE OF THE MEMO SPOT.

Staff-

In doing entertainment research for the Memo Spots up coming blog picnic, I came across an unicyclist group. I thought it would be a fantastic addition to have an unicyclist for the children and perhaps even offer lessons for the more daring on our staff. Therefore I decided to investigate further into the rainbow decorated website. I happily learned the proprietor of this company is a man of God and a practicing Pastor. He promptly responded to my inquiry about attending the picnic but to my dismay he does not teach lessons.

However he said that his rides are intended to teach lessons. He is riding through the United States on his unicycle to push forward the causes of Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender rights. I was flabbergasted that a man with only one wheel would take on such a major endeavor. For as well all know at the Memo Spot, political advocacy should be taken on with both feet on the ground.

When I asked Lars about his reasoning for utilizing the unicycle he mentioned that people along his trip wanted to know the same thing. According to his response “The surprising thing about pedaling a unicycle for equal rights is how people love the strangeness of me riding One Wheel. Even if they struggle with LGBT difference or other kinds of difference, my One Wheel difference brings celebration instead of division.”

In further conversation I became more interested in this one wheel activist’s adventure. I wondered aloud to him, what was the deeper connection between a unicycle and LGBT rights in the United States. The answer came after a two-part question.

In asking what the biggest threat to LGBT community is in the US Lars answered: Religious Fundamentalism and in asking the biggest threat to unicyclists in the US Lars answered: Virginia Highways. Clearly, the passage of new highway laws limiting the shoulders is the work of fundamentalist religionists in the bible-thumping region on Virginia.

Therefore I purpose that no Memo Spot events should be based in Virginia. In that all events now will be on Unicycles, because of the new Memo Spot motto: “One Wheel, One Memo, One Family,” Virginia posses a large threat to not only LGBT rights, not only the future of the Memo Spot but the longevity of the United States itself.

Please take this under consideration. Additionally take a look at the new book about the evils of Virginian bible thumbing highway work that should be coming out in the next few months.

-dcc


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opps

Memo

TO: Kenneth Lay
FROM: dcc
RE: opps

PERSONAL AND INCRIMINATING

Kenny boy-

My bad bro! I should have shredded the last parts of our workings that had to do with you stealing all of your employees’ money. I did however remove the names of other high level administration leaders and most of your lawers.

Man that really is a bummer you got nailed with all these charges and now might even have to pay for it! Rich people are supposed to be able to do what they want! What is this country coming to? I tell you my friend pretty soon they are going to close the tax loop whole that allowed our friends donate a golf course to OSU under the Katrina Hurricane tax shelter.

The world as we know it Ken is over. I will visit and bring cake.

-dcc

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Terrorist Surveillance Program vs Employee Surveillance Program

Memo

TO: VA, NSA
FROM: dcc
RE: Terrorist Surveillance Program vs Employee Surveillance Program

Gentlemen-

Today’s news is troublesome. As you know the government will not fund our veterans but will send them to far away places to kill in the name of freedom. Now with this breach of information, people and terrorist alike may actually learn about the poor treatment we give to our vets. This is exactly the type of information that aids the terrorist. If these lists are leaked to the wrong people the terrorist will win. We also cannot look this weak by publishing an apology letter.

With this in mind I propose the VA allows the NSA the ability to tape all conversations and actions of all VA personnel with access to these files. This clearly is for the protection of National Security. All information will only be used to track the terrorists. This falls under the third section of the USA PATRIOT ACT. Do not worry if that is not true, no one really has read the fine print anyway.

One National Under Surveillance is better than a Nation destroyed by techies and terrorists.

-dcc




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5th Avenue Store

Memo

TO: Mac People
FROM: dcc
RE: 5th Avenue Store

Mac People-

This store may bring the end to your superiority complex and bring the small smart commuters to the masses. Be advised.

-dcc


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Telling the Truth About Terror

Memo

TO: POTUS
FROM: dcc
RE: Telling the Truth About Terror

George –

This is a dangerous precedent. Telling the truth about your intentions about the War on Terror will give the terrorist what they want and might also mean that this newly defined “World War” will mean that this War on Terror will end like the other World Wars ended.

As you know, wars against proper nouns are for political gains only. (see Johnson’s War on Poverty, Your Father’s War on Drugs and your War on Terror) Clearly a World War (both One and Two ended in less than 10 years) ends. You need a war that will last forever. In conversation with Rove we cleared this idea; to create a longer term and some what permanent Republican Majority, the US will need to be at war forever.

This truth is dangerous. Please keep to the plan or even the inept Democrats may be able to crack the permanent majority.


-dcc


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Future Plans in NASCAR

Memo

TO: Rep Patrick J Kennedy
FROM: dcc
RE: Future Plans in NASCAR

Pat-

It has come to my attention that you are interested in NASCAR to make a change. This could work very well for you and for the future of your political life. However please consider the following:

1. Do not become sleep deprived
2. Do not consider an Ambien sponsorship
3. Do not disclose gastrointestinal problems
4. Do participate in jokes about your family’s driving record, but not with the Earnhardt family.

Good luck when the green flag comes down.

-dcc


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Spanish Music and American Ideals

Memo

TO: Americans Supporting Musical Language
FROM: dcc
RE: Spanish Music and American Ideals

The music found in the below score is not true to the original intent of the music. This music was meant to create a feeling of power and patriotism. The feeling of this music, while achieving the original point and purpose of the anthem, doe this is Spanish.

Clearly Spanish is not the national language of the United States. In fact, the United States does not have an official language. But clearly Spanish is detrimental to the unity of the United States and therefore the national anthem of the United States should not be sung in Spanish.

Beyond the language of the song, the language of the words takes away the intention of the notes and music. Please let your government know what we already know; music of patriotism must be in English.

-dcc


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